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Karena could tell that her parents weren’t having the experience they’d expected to have when they’d had a child and pictured it growing up, since their baby who was learning how to walk was always talking to them like a teenager. While other parent’s babies grew up in a regular fashion, Karena was completely different, and Karena could tell that at times it upset her parents.
Harold and Christi did a good job of making sure no one else knew that their baby could speak fluent English and was indeed a 15-year old in the body of a 1—year old. Explaining the story of what had happened that night, of Karena’s story, and of the doctor’s theory, would all be far too time consuming and distressing, for both them and everyone else. So they just kept Karena’s abilities to themselves, which was easier, at least for the moment. Besides, once the media found out how intelligent this baby was, they would never be getting a moment of rest. They knew that at some point it would all have to be revealed, but the farther this could be delayed, the better.
At first, Karena didn’t remember any of what was happening to her as a baby from her past life. But as she got older, events started happening that gave her strange feelings of deja-vu, like she’d been through it before, though most of the time when this happened she wasn’t able to specifically remember it happening before. A notable instance of this was at her 2nd birthday party. Since nobody knew that Karena wasn’t really a baby, all the guests they invited to that party thought that Karena was just an ordinary 2—year old who was going to stuff her face with cake in a ridiculously messy and disgusting manner as most every 2—year old child did at their birthday party.
Before the party, Harold and Christi had instructed her to keep absolutely quiet, only making the occasional baby-like sound or uttering random, irrelevant phrases through a thick layer of slobber like a 2-year old would. Karena had agreed, despite her frustration at having to do this, since she’d done it many times before. But nonetheless she’d decided to stick to her word and not reveal who she really was.
Karena hated sitting in the high chair with the restraining table in front of her that jabbed into her body so that she couldn’t squeeze out, which she wouldn’t be stupid enough to do anyway judging the distance to the floor. Her fragile baby body would be broken for sure. But she just put on a show for her guests by acting like a baby, and it worked.
Then, all of a sudden, there came a moment in the middle of the party when it was as if something had clicked in her brain, and she clearly remembered having seen the scene in front of her before. There were adults all drinking out of plastic cups that had “Happy Birthday!” written on them with colorful confetti surrounding the words. There were little kids that were older than her running around the adults’ feet playing tag until one of them fell and started crying. There was a table full of treats such as deviled eggs, pasta salad, and cold meatballs, with a cake that no one had opened up yet, waiting for the time when everyone would sing “Happy Birthday.” And in the middle of it all were her parents, talking and laughing with the other adults. It was strange that nothing of any particular significance happened at this exact moment that invoked the deja-vu, it just happened. From her high chair Karena had a perfect view of it all, and then, just like that, the deja-vu was over and everything was new to her again.
This was the first strong incident of deja-vu, but it began to happen increasingly often in the following months. Karena continued to grow, and slowly her frustration with her situation began to diminish. She became accustomed to her new life, and over time her shock went away and she accepted the fact that this was her new life. That she would have to grow up and go through everything all over again until she got past the point where she’d disappeared and could continue with her life as she had before, though she knew things wouldn’t ever really be the same again.
Until then, she would just have to bear with it, never being surprised by anything because she’d been through it all before, and always knowing what was to be around the next corner in her life. In some ways it might give her an advantage, and she might even be able to change things that she hadn’t liked with her old life. That wasn’t to say that she was glad this had happened, far from it. But she decided that she might as well make the most of it while she could.
And so, time went on, and day changed to night and night into day, and in time the days turned to years and Karena grew older and older in her new life, her new life which mirrored the old in almost every way.
8
Karena started kindergarten at the age of 5, just like she had before. Pretending to be at the same level of education as all the other kids was a source of constant annoyance for her, since although she was at the same level of physical ability, she far exceeded them intellectually. Karena fought the urge to roll her eyes constantly in class when the teacher made the kids recite the alphabet, or when they tried to learn to count to ten. Occasionally, she was tempted to go up to the board and write some complicated equation just to show that she was in a grade far too young for her, but she resisted. Tempting as it might be, she would keep her word to her parents not to reveal to anyone what had happened to her. It was the least she could do, for her parents and for herself.
By this point she was having the deja-vu feeling practically every other day at some time or another. While much of what was happening still seemed new to her, much of it was familiar to her as well. She distinctly remembered “circle time” for instance, where everyone in her class got out small little mats and sat cross legged on the floor in an oval-ish formation as the teacher read to them some realistic fiction story that was rather dull in a very slow voice, emphasizing each word so that the kids understood her. When she’d done this before, of course, she’d found this time riveting as her neurons were still at the very early stages of making connections within her brain, however, now it was a terrible waste of time.
When she got home from school each day, she would immediately begin doing things that were more on her mental level. Back in her old life, she wasn’t one to do research at home purely for fun very often, but here she realized it was of absolute necessity that she did this. She had to do something to keep her mind active with things that she found interesting. So she would go on a computer and simply do research about whatever she felt like. This kept her mind busy and away from the boredom of the day, and this was what she most looked forward to during the long hours at kindergarten. She read about science, history, literature, and all sorts of things that she never would have found particularly interesting in her past life.
It wasn’t like there was much else for her to do anyway. Being a toddler who was of far greater intelligence than all the other toddlers, she didn’t really have any friends. It would have been strange to have friends who were 5—year olds when at this point she was a 20—year old. And since she couldn’t do very many interesting things physically, she stuck to research for entertainment, determined not to fall behind other 20—year olds, even though there wasn’t really any danger if that happened.
In a year kindergarten was over and Karena went into first grade, where she began to actually get grades from small quizzes on simple math and reading exercises. Keeping her grades at an average level was difficult for her, as she was afraid that if she did too well and aced everything, then people would begin to suspect that she was some sort of a genius and would eventually find out everything. But if her grades were too low then, well, she wouldn’t have good grades, and failing 1st grade as a 21-year old wouldn’t look very good on her personal resume. So she strived hard to be as much like everyone else as possible and not to stick out like a sore thumb.
She grew weary of her situation, though. Every day she went to school and learned nothing, and was constantly nervous because of the great secret she was hiding from everyone at all times. It was like carrying an enormous burden that didn’t allow her to have any real friends and didn’t let her have fun at school like a normal 1st grader might. It seemed like its pressure grew greater each day.
However, she
soon realized that it couldn’t go on like this. She couldn’t just endure school, she had to actually be a part of it in order to fit in. That meant she had to make friends, and be actively speaking up, and participating in everything, something that until this point she’d never really considered doing. If she was always separated from anyone else, then people would begin to suspect that something was wrong with her, and then she’d be forced to tell about her situation.
And so she merged with her class. She became exactly like a 1st grade student. She made friends and participated in class and was akin to everyone else in almost every way. The scary thing was that at times she almost forgot who she really was. She forgot that she was 21-years old, that this was the second time she’d lived through her life, and that everything she was going through she’d been through before.
In some ways this was scary, but in other ways it helped her to stay happy at times in a situation where it practically impossible to do so.
9
It was a while before anything significant which was directly connected to Karena’s problem happened. It didn’t happen until she was in third grade, as a matter of fact, and by that point she had grown used to everything. She’d grown used to knowing all the material being taught, and was now an expert at getting average grades on quizzes. But she was also used to being friendly and playing like a child and growing up at the same rate as everyone else. In this sense it was as if her past life had never existed.
But it had, and she was reminded of this very strongly on the first day of third grade. She was 8 years old at this point, though really she was 23. She and everyone else walked into the classroom, looking for a seat that they liked, trying to sit with friends even though they knew the teacher already had a seating plan for them and would separate them into an irritating boy-girl alternating pattern. The teacher stood at the front of the room, smiling at everyone warmly. But in the corner there was another person who looked to be in their early twenties, far younger than the teacher. The best way she could describe the look on his face was a look of utter fatigue. It wasn’t that he looked tired or sleepy, it was more like a crushing weariness that made his features sag and his smile seem half-hearted and weak, despite his youth.
Everyone sat down, and the teacher began telling them about how they were going to have a great year together and starting introducing herself and going through all the usual procedures that happen at the beginning of a school year. And then she introduced the man who’d been sitting in the background.
“This is Mr. Ryker,” she said. “He’s a teacher in training who’s going to be your secondary teacher this year.”
Politely, all the students said in a sort of semi-unison, “Hi, Mr. Ryker.” Mr. Ryker gave a half-hearted smile and a half-hearted wave, which seem to satisfy the kids who turned their attention back to the teacher.
Karena suspected at first that the man was simply just a person who wasn’t very happy with their job, or with their life, or with something in general. There were always those people who seemed extremely sad for no legitimate reason, simply because they had a small thing in their life that needed filling, or at least that they thought need filling, though they could easily ignore it if they tried. Karena had heard of such a thing; it was called the missing tile syndrome. But Mr. Ryker was not like this at all, and Karena soon began to suspect something about him that nobody else did.
For one thing, a person who just didn’t have the right job wouldn’t act like this. This man acted like he was actually depressed, not just disappointed with his occupation. The fact that he tried to smile but could only do so half-heartedly proved this. A person who was just disappointed wouldn’t even try to smile, but a person who was depressed would be so used to being depressed that he’d see no reason not to.
But there was something else about him that was perhaps even more important. She could see it in his eyes. His eyes, though he was young, were full of wisdom and knowledge, as if he were really much older than twenty but still looked young on the outside. Karena couldn’t explain how she saw this, especially since no one else seemed to notice it. There was something about him that was simply…different.
And as the days passed and Mr. Ryker continued to sit there in the class, helping out the teacher and being a substitute if she wasn’t there, Karena became more and more certain that Mr. Ryker was not what he seemed. He was not twenty years old, in fact, he was much older, and she knew, though she couldn’t explain why, that he’d been through the exact same thing that she’d been through. Maybe it was something in her blood that allowed her to know this for sure, or maybe it was just a strong suspicion she had which happened to be correct, but it was as certain to her as…well…she couldn’t really think of a good analogy for that since she wasn’t really certain of much these days, but she was certain about this, and that’s what mattered.
Karena knew that she had to speak with him privately, and she began formulating a plan for how she could do this in secret. She had no fear that she would approach him and find out that her suspicion was false, and so she decided that she’d be very bold and simply find a time when there was no one around to talk. She noticed that every day, after everyone left class, he was always the last one to leave, even after the teacher. So she decided one day that she would just walk up and start talking. She didn’t tell her parents about Mr. Ryker. She saw no need to, at least for the time being.
On Wednesday, Karena was counting down the hours until the bell rang and everyone was released from class. There were just minutes left on the clock, but time seemed to drag on infinitely as the teacher rambled on about some absurdly easy math problem which involved carrying across zeros, when the bell finally rang, and all the kids cheered and grab their bags and were out the door in a flash, running and trampling over each other in a most disorderly fashion as the teacher tried to get their attention and say something about homework they were supposed to do but no one would because they were already gone before she could finish.
Karena slowly packed up her stuff as she waited for the teacher to leave. She gathered up all her writing utensils and put them in her case, and then put the case in her bag. But when she looked up, no one was there.
Confused, Karena blinked and looked for the teacher, but she was nowhere to be seen. She was just getting ready to turn around when she felt a hand on her shoulder and she heard Mr. Ryker’s voice. “Karena. A moment please.”
10
Karena slowly turned around in her chair to see Mr. Ryker looming over her as all adults did to children in the third grade. His eyes had the same knowing, wise look that they’d always had since she’d first seen him.
“Yes?” she asked. Then, realizing what she’d been meaning to do, she said: “Actually, I’d been meaning to come talk to you, so…”
“Yes, that’s what I suspected,” Mr. Ryker said, sitting down in a chair adjacent to hers.
Karena blinked. Did he know everything that had happened to her as well as she knew everything that had happened to him? That would make sense, after all, as she was sure a person who’d been through the same experience would recognize when another person had too, which was after all the only explanation she had for her knowing what he’d been through.
Mr. Ryker pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil and began writing something on the next desk over, though Karena couldn’t see what it was from her position. When he finished, he handed the paper and pencil to her and said: “Solve it.”
Karena looked down at what he’d thrust in front of her. It read:
Solve sin(x) + 3 = 2 for 0 < x < 2
Karena’s heart leapt. He knew! Mr. Ryker knew that she wasn’t really a third grader, otherwise there’s no way he’d ask her to do a trigonometry problem in third grade. She may not know how to do it, or at least not very well, but she was sure now that he knew what she really was, and that’s all that really mattered.
“I’m not very good with these sort of problems,” Karena admitted, a smile g
rowing on her face. “I was only 15 when I woke up in this body, and so-”
“Shut up!” Mr. Ryker hastily interrupted, surprising Karena with the urgency in his voice. Then, in a quiet whisper he said: “We can’t let anyone overhear us; this isn’t a safe place. Come with me.”
Bewildered, Karena stood up as Mr. Ryker hurriedly hustled across the room and exited through the door. After standing still for a moment in surprise, she figured out what she was meant to do and hurried after him, walking through the same door and leaving all her school supplies behind. She looked both ways in the hallway, which was now abandoned, and saw him turning a corner to her right. She quickly broke into a run, sprinting across the corridor as fast as her legs could carry her. She practiced running regularly these days, so she was quite fast coming around the bend in the corridor, or at least as fast as she could be in her third-grade body.
But when she turned the corner, she saw to her dismay that there was nobody there. Mr. Ryker was nowhere to be seen. Nonetheless, she walked along the hallway slowly, trying to peek through the little windows on the doors but failing due to her height. She hoped that he hadn’t left the hallway completely, because then he would be far away by now and she’d have to find another time to talk to him, and she wasn’t sure that she could bear waiting any longer. And anyway, why would he disappear if he wanted to talk to her too? Maybe he’d just gone into one of the rooms…
No sooner had the thought crossed her mind when a hand reached out from a doorway and grabbed her shoulder, before pulling her into the room and shutting the door behind her.
Startled, Karena looked around to see what had happened. She was in a small classroom, probably for 1st graders by the looks of it. The man who’d grabbed her, who she could see was Mr. Ryker, had already left her and was walking across the classroom to the window.